I remember sitting in the back row of a cold sanctuary crying because I desperately wanted what the preacher was saying to be true but my doubts were preaching a sermon of their own and the streams of my tears turned into oceans of frustration. ![]() And something inside of me wished that somehow before she passed away she could pass her confidence down to me like an old family picture. ![]() But I know who I belong to.” And I was so happy for her. I had never seen such pain and such confidence living in the same eyes when she told me, “I don’t know what I’m gonna do. Last year, my grandmother laid in a hospital bed like a bus stop, waiting for God to come pick her up. I have lived in its darkness for so long. It seems that I have all the right questions, but never enough answers and my faith is small enough to fit in the cracks of my palms, God.Įvery night I lay my head down to sleep, the city of my mind is attacked by a legion of questions threatening the living rooms of my sanity and holding them hostage. To never know the day that you would finally live beyond the shadow of a doubt. What it feels like to have your entire belief system overload with skepticism. ![]() Because she had no idea of what it feels like to doubt. I remember, my little niece ran up to me and told me, “We learned about Jesus today.” And I could tell by her smile she was so excited to learn about this man she did not quite know yet, but she knew without a doubt for it to be true because, after all, Mommy said so.Īnd that was the first time in my life that I looked into the eyes of a child and envied them. (Read about my summer camp experience! The Summit) Hey! Welcome to my page! I hope you enjoy this transcription of such a wonderful piece.
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